OIL SPILL

My hair is not happy with me at the moment. It’s a bit moody, and more difficult than usual. I’d do anything to make up with it.

I know, I know I sound like a cray-cray person but as any woman will testify, your relationship with your hair is the deepest, most meaningful and most aggravating one you will ever have.

So, why is my hair sulking at the moment?

My hair care tips and routine has been tremendously irregular and erratic. Because I have spent the past eighteen months experimenting ruthlessly with it. First, I decided not to cover my greys. Then, I got the Cysteine treatment done, twice. Immediately after, I started getting regular head massages with a blend of six oils that I mix myself. Then, I switched shampoos to something so organic and so sulphate-free that I need to spend 10 minutes lathering it in the palm of my hand before I can rub it into my scalp.

Just when my hair started to be distant and non-communicative, I decided to substitute conditioner with cold-pressed virgin coconut oil, blended with rose and argan oils.

Here’s my side of the story. This really isn’t my fault. Firstly, I am a south Indian and truly believe that coconut oil is all you need to lead a healthy, happy, prosperous life. To add to this, women on all of those beauty blogs I am addicted to talk about how virtuous and miraculous organic, cold-pressed oils are. “Commercial products have chemicals,” they say as they sip on their almond milk, “and no matter how organic the label says it is, you’re still absorbing toxins.”

I caved. It was inevitable.

I started to blend three drops of coconut oil with one drop each of the other two. I’d rub it into my hair while it was soaking wet, wrap the whole thing into a towel, and then wait three hours before I set it free. Sometimes my hair looks glossy and incredible. Sometimes it looked like it hadn’t been washed in months. Not one to give up, I varied the blend: More rose? Or maybe more argan? Let’s skip the coconut altogether. Okay, let’s just skip everything and use almond oil. And throughout this time, I could only wear my hair up, in a tight bun that hid all flaws.

Two months into this madness, I had to travel. For practical reasons (and, I’ll admit, for the sake of my own sanity), I bought a tub of my favourite conditioner. I promise you I could almost hear my hair let out a giant sigh of relief. I have not been forgiven yet, but I’ve got the message. Loud and clear. While virtue and eco-consciousness are all very well, what frizzy south Indian curls need more than anything else, is the comfort and support of thick, synthetic masks that make them feel good about themselves.

As I write this, I am wearing my hair open. It’s quiet but not hostile. We’re working on things. It isn’t what it used to be. But, as in all committed relationships that hit a bump, we’re giving it time. And a spa vacation.

BeautyBeats Feels: We aren’t against hair oils. And while we too love experimenting, our advise to adventurers would be that when you sense things going out of control, please consult an expert to get back in track. Perhaps just a little tweaking of the recipe is all you need!

*Chinmayee is a storyteller, writer and editor. She blogs at www.themayabazar.tumblr.com